I had some time to think today. It’s one of the great perks of being a substitute teacher. I have so many opportunities before me and I am currently struggling with making not just a choice, but the right choice. So…where do I want to be? What’s really important to me? Do I want to get an advanced degree? Do I want to live in California? Where would I like to settle down? I can mull these over in my head all day and it does no good. All of these questions and answers are secondary to who I want with me. I know that at 26, it’s time for me to make my own home. It’s time for me to leave this magical manor and craft for myself a life. I just always hoped that I would be doing so under the title of “us” and “our”. I can work my tail off all day, pretending that it brings me closer to him, but really, nothing short of a miracle will. So I tire myself with work, and fill the gaps in my day with things that feel industrious so that I feel a little less helpless. I am a capitolist at heart.

*sigh* I am so tired. and hungry. and now, slightly sad.
Pray for miracles. =)

xoxoxo
elle

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