I find that people around me define me by what I’m not, and while this may be helpful for them to understand how I am different from them, it really doesn’t say too much about me. The list goes somethinkg like this: I don’t drink, swear, smoke, have sex, watch rated-R movies, eat meat, listen to vulgar or sexual rap, work or shop on sundays, or lie. With that out of the way, let me tell you what I do- just to cement my geek image. I read, quilt, make costumes, run, paint, consume music and art, wonder, walk, write, teach, sing, hang out with my family, and cook. I have no time in my life for the former list. I have too many things to do on the latter…and, the real reason that I abstain from the first list? I find that what makes me different, the reason that I see the world differently, is what I decide to let into my life. By watching my diet, in many senses of the word, I can keep a close watch on what influences me. I don’t want to believe, or even grow soft to the idea that sex is merely physical, and can and should be enjoyed with anyone who’s hot and ready. It’s not truth to me, and I don’t want to hear songs that perpetuate that myth. So I turn the radio off and listen to some Sufjan Stevens or Jack Johnson. I don’t want to watch people be mean and violent to one another, even for the sake of entertainment. So I choose my movies carefully. I am picky about what goes into my mind and heart…probably moreso than my physical body, because I know that what will come out is directly related to what goes in. I want to be a positive force in the world, however small. Even if my presence is as small as a smile, or a laugh. Even if that influence is only felt by the few people close to me in my life. I want to be a filter, and only repeat and send out the good things that come through me. I believe that life cycles back on us.
*grin*
elle

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