I like filling out forms. This week I’ve filled out dozens of applications to school districts and while I like answering questions like, “if there were no restrictions placed on you, what would you do with your life?” and “Do you think that a teacher can be too empathetic? Explain”, I do get tired of filling out the previous job experience section. I now have the addressess and phone numbers of my previous employers committed to memory. The spaces are too small. The space to fill in “reason for leaving” could hardly contain two words, and even if I could sum the reason up in two words, would it make sense to an employer? I have to smile every time I come accross that space because my reason for leaving my last employer can be summed uop in two perfect words. I spend my days as almost the lowest form of school district employee (I say amost because there are lunch ladies. ick) I substitute teach and find, the teachers pity me and try to buoy me up with, “you’ll get a contract soon!”, and the subs try to commiserate by telling me that they’ve been subbing for 12 years looking for a contract. I usually smile, and don’t share with them that I was hired a month after I graduated from college…taught at a great school (Go Marauders!!!)…got to be involved in the theater and art, and had super smiley, wonderful students. I don’t tell them my two word summation. I tell that that I’m young. I want to live in lots of places. It’s my goal to travel from city to city and teach and gain varied experience until I “settle down”. These are the lies that I also tell myself. OK, maybe lies isn’t the right word. These things are true. But the whole truth can be summed up in two words. Still, in seeking a job in Southern Califronia I can tell myself that I’m doing it because I now have a California Certificate, and I have frinds there, and there’s a beach…but really? It’s for the same two words. The same two words that are at the bottom of everything. When I strip down my actions and motivations far enough, they come to this same common demoninator. The name of a man. *grin* He’s on my mind hourly, which is a little ridiculous. I have been journeying for so long to wind up at his door prepared. I’m pretty sure that the outcome will be me walking away sullen and empty, with my heart left behind the door, in the hands of that man. I’ll go anyways. Whatever waits for me in California it’s coming soon, and it’s the end of this journey, and I will welcome it.
It’s friday fools! I’m hanging out at Lewis and Clark for a while today…and then I’m going to hang out with Julia some. =) I hope that you all get some sunshine! =) Theres a wonderful weekend ahead!

elle.

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