(21 February 2007 from 2007 self portraits)
I feel myself pulled in so many directions.
I want to live in New York City. I want to make my own clothing. I want to have a green thumb. I want to design costumes for films. I want to travel the world photographing weddings. I want to be a professor of Art at a cozy little college. I want to make my art, exhibit it often, and give slide lectures about it at noon on college campuses. I want to create a whole series of “how-to” videos. I want to make a living being creative. I want to have children. I want to renovate and restore houses. I want to build and repurpose furniture. I want to run marathons. I want to teach high school. I want to build theater sets and be a part of the stage crew. I want to make funky craft creations and travel to craft bazaars and sell them. I want to open a bakery in a wonderful little part of some amazing downtown. I want to live in Seattle, and Boston, and London.
I know that I can work hard enough to achieve any goal that I may have- my problem is, I want everything. I want to own a bakery in a trendy part of town and show my work at MOMA and be a wedding photographer. I’m worried that if I don’t focus my passion on one thing, I’ll end up stupendously mediocre at lots of things.
I also have to think about someone else now- my husband, mr. awesome, and also all of our unborn children (no, this is not an announcement =)….) My life is no longer about what I want to do all of the time. I now have to negotiate all of my dreams with the man that I share dinner with everynight. Luckily, he’s amazingly supportive and adventurous, and wants me to be creative and successful.
Maybe I just need to use my linear perspective eyes and see that I have (hopefully) at least 60 years of life left to live, and that is plenty of time to be a Mother, and an artist, and a teacher, and house flipper.
so…where should I start? =)
muah to everyone!
elle!
Tags: 5 Comments
5 responses so far ↓
**BEAUTIFUL!!** You are amazing!! And finding the right words about your Mr. Awesome and your future, is brilliant! I want to find mine!! ;o)
thanks. =)
and you will. your life will change forever.
Your blog is an amazing reflection of yourself. It is great for you to have all of these passions. You can look forward to other interests that you do not know about yet. You have characteristics of several of your forebearers. You resemble your mother when she was your age and have many of her talents and drive. You share skills and interest with Aunt Kathi in renovating furniture and houses, and culinary arts. You have your Uncle’s taste and interest in art and many things. You have your father’s kind heart and concern for others. You deserve to be proud of yourself!
Your blog is an amazing reflection of yourself. It is great for you to have all of these passions. You can look forward to other interests that you do not know about yet. You have characteristics of several of your forebearers. You resemble your mother when she was your age and have many of her talents and drive. You share skills and interest with Aunt Kathi in renovating furniture and houses, and culinary arts. You have your Uncle’s taste and interest in art and many things. You have your father’s kind heart and concern for others. You deserve to be proud of yourself!
Your blog is an amazing reflection of yourself. It is great for you to have all of these passions. You can look forward to other interests that you do not know about yet. You have characteristics of several of your forebearers. You resemble your mother when she was your age and have many of her talents and drive. You share skills and interest with Aunt Kathi in renovating furniture and houses, and culinary arts. You have your Uncle’s taste and interest in art and many things. You have your father’s kind heart and concern for others. You deserve to be proud of yourself!